Monday, March 17, 2008

Snakes X 3 = I am moving!


I wanted to get our lawn treated for ants and bugs so our children can play in safe environment – Nothing like screaming “WATCH OUT FOR THE ANT PILE!” every 3 seconds. So, the guy comes this morning to inspect our home/yard and give me an estimate. We’re walking around the perimeter of the house and I spot a SNAKE (actually, I swore I saw TWO heads) behind a small plastic shed on the side of the house – Okay, I HATE, DESPISE, am Repulsed, Sickened and in heart failure mode when an occasional black racer makes it way onto my territory. I go bezerk and feel the need to plummet through the yard like a lunatic, trying to KILL the snake. Years ago, I had a city employee drive by and scream out at me, “M’am, ARE YOU OKAY??!?!?” It’s not a pretty sight.

So, Mr. E is trying to stab the snake with his tiny handheld axe – I run for a shovel. He chops the head off. Snake is about 2-3ft long. We continue on with our tour and on our way back past THE SHED, I see a 2nd head AND a body that was LONGER than the first. OFF WITH THE HEAD once again. By now, our small shed is in 5 pieces because ED has crammed it full with the blow-up pools, etc. That is HIS territory and he has failed to maintain it properly. He is in big trouble. So, this nicely dressed “salesman” is having heart flippers because HE too hates snakes. I offer him a bottled water because we have no alcohol. In the 15 years he has been doing this, he’s SEEN a snake here or there, but has never KILLED one…Or TWO for that matter. So, we head on inside for inspection. All is okay. We’ve been pretty lucky as far as visitors go. An occasional straggler, but that is it. We talk about prices and packages. He then had to head out to bring McDonald’s to his wife’s 3rd grade class, so I opened the front door to walk him out. Would you BELIEVE there was a THIRD snake slithering along the garage door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS HAPPENING!! Was today the day all snakes HATCHED or were mating or what?? OFF WITH THE HEAD on #3.
So, all three snake bodies and 3 heads are laying on the side of the house, along with our plastic shed in 5 pieces, 2 blow up pools, a camping BBQ and whatever else Ed Ponce managed to cram in there. Guess what he gets to do when he gets home from work J

And needless to say, I went ahead and signed up for lawn pest control…

No comments:

Post a Comment